February: Eating disorder awareness month

Imagine you’re doing your weekly shop at your local supermarket, you have your mental shopping list and go through each section in the shop. You remember you mainly need potatoes, milk, cereal, pasta, cheese and toothpaste.
You know that every shop is a new chance for you to get better, to get where you want to be. But thinking about all the carbohydrates that are resembled by the potatoes and pasta, or the sugar that one finds in the Coco Pops you normally really like, the fat in cheese… it makes you feel unwell.  ‘’You’re not worth it, you don’t deserve to eat that’’. A cold sweat shivers down your back, your head spins and you feel sick. You suddenly become aware of your own body again, you think of all the parts of your body that you don’t like: the belly that isn’t flat enough, your legs and arms that you don’t like and your cheeks, you hate how fat they make you look. But worse, you think of the control you will lose if you eat. So much is pinned on your body. You truly believe that if you gain weight, everyone will hate you, and you will fail your exams. You remember last time you ate high calorie food. You only did it to prove to people you were fine. You remember the horror, the shame, the furious anger, and the vomiting until there was nothing left but blood. You are so frightened.
You remember your friends and family saying you’re beautiful and don’t need to watch out for calories that much that you need to start eating proper food again.  You remember your doctor telling you that if you don’t start to gain weight again, you won’t be able to function normally anymore and may have to face a clinic.  If you carry on like this, you will die…
You can’t do this, not today. You go to pick the toothpaste up, already having made the decision that this is the only thing you’ll be buying today. You go to the check outs and pay, you  leave the shop and walk back to your flat.
You’ve decided you won’t get better today, that there’s always another chance tomorrow or the day after tomorrow or…

This month is eating disorder awareness month, do you know someone who suffers an eating disorder?
It’s time to talk about it.

1.6 million people in the UK are affected by an eating disorder, 11% of the sufferers are male.
It’s time to change, it’s time to talk.

Think maybe, just maybe, people do it to be ‘fashionable’ or for attention? Trust me, there’s nothing fashionable about hiding sick bags in your hand bag. Not great confidence boost, trust me; been there, done that, got the T-shirt.

Eating disorders are a living Hell.

Are you worried about someone, your friend, your brother, your flat mate? Talk to them. Break the silence!